Oh, quit telling lies
You're making me
Making me cry.
"Quit Telling Lies" ~ Hannah Montana *
We were sitting in the minivan this afternoon, Betty and I, scarfing down McDonalds while waiting for Boo's social-skills group to finish up. I was luxuriating in an afternoon infusion of caffeine, and Betty was happily munching on her Happy Meal, delighted with her prized "Hello Kitty" watch ("Oh, Mommy, how did the people at McDonalds know I needed a new watch?" she sighed dreamily. All the better to market to you with, my dear, I refrained from cackling.) I explained that Daddy would need to set the watch, as my energies were too diminished for such a task.
"Mommy, I hate to tell you this..." Betty began dramatically. "...but Daddy told you a lie at your wedding." With a lie being drawn out for maximum drama, as only a 7-going-on-17-year old can muster.
"Oh, he did now, did he? Hmmm, what would that have been?"
"You gave him a gift, but he didn't like it, but he only said he did," Betty announced authoritatively.
"Is that so?" I answered. (For the record, a hundred years ago when our nuptials occurred, The Dean and I both thought the custom of exchanging wedding gifts was ridiculous and considered the fact that we were vowing till death do us part to be sufficient enough.)
When we got home, Betty repeated this revelation verbatim to The Dean, who is partially amused and partially perplexed. Several hours later after intermittant light-hearted cross-examination, Betty's sticking to her story. (She's a future lawyer's dream on the witness stand, that Betty.) Claims that The Dean disclosed this confidence to her while playing a Hannah Montana board game.
The irony of which is not lost on me, as the whole premise of Hannah Montana is, of course, based on the idea that she is living a secret life.
( * very deep and profound lyrics, wouldn't you agree?)