Tuesday, February 2, 2010

10 Ways to NOT Get Me to Look at Your Resume

1. Send me an email with no subject line. Because since I have never heard of you, this will help give me a clue.

2. Clearly list for all to see in the "to" field that I am among one of several people you are mass-emailing ....

3. ... including several e-mail addresses that begin with "info@" that are for different organizations. Because I always love starting my day feeling on-par with a generic e-mail address. (Then again, that's how I start most of my days.)

4. Don't start your email with "Dear Melissa" ('cause a simple Google of my work email will lead you to my name in approximately two seconds flat).

5. Instead, don't use a salutation at all. Just start your email with "Please consider me for any available position."

6. And then go on to add "I am looking for any helping position."

7. Have a clue as to what I do for a living. Based on the three short paragraphs you've told me about yourself, your background and what I do is not quite a match. Again, a quick perusal and search of my organization's website will lead you to my email, which will describe what I do.

8. Speaking of the three short paragraphs, I prefer resumes (even unsolicited ones) to include things like ... oh, I don't know ... maybe some of your actual job responsibilities and duties? It's not necessary, but sometimes I like to see actual accomplishments, too. I'm just sayin'.

9. I appreciate you pointing out that you worked at one of your positions for "a very short period of time." Yep, I'd consider a less than 5 month stint as such, unless it was an internship or some such thing.

10. Check your resume for typos and also for phrases like "worked for an organization servicing females" that could, perhaps, give a different spin to the work you actually did.

... and one bonus tip. Thanks for wishing me a nice day. With a greeting like this one, it can only get better from here.

UPDATE: And the very next day, resend all of the above as a fax with no cover letter.

copyright 2010, Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy, The Betty and Boo Chronicles) If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.


Niksmom said...

I wish I thought this was a fictitious happenstance. Sadly, I know it's not. *shakes head in disgust*

Having fun yet? ;-)

Florinda said...

Oh, fun. The art of the cover letter truly has been lost, it seems (although far too many people never quite grasped it anyway). Hope they start getting better!

Trisha said...

This is so perfect for me right now as I'm currently serving on two hiring committees for new teachers, and I'm astonished by some of the resumes. For instance, one person spelled her degree incorrectly three times: Comparitive Literature? Really? And we have quite a handful of people applying who don't hold degrees in the field and have never taught a class before. I love it when people think anyone can teach anything. How exactly does a BA in Business Administration and five years owning an insurance agency qualify you to teach college-level composition? Okay enough complaining; off to look at more resumes.

Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) said...

Admittedly, I've been known to be a little bit of a hard-ass about this stuff (I've gotten slightly better) but there's a limit. This was definitely among the worst resumes I've ever seen. (The best was a cover letter in verse ... which, come to think of it, Trisha, might be among the hopeful ones you're looking at. :)

JoAnn said...

My sister is HR director for a large law firm... she would just love this post!!

Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) said...

JoAnn - I'm guessing she would love the actual resume even more ... that is, assuming she wasn't among the others listed in the TO: field of the email I received.