Monday, February 22, 2010

Cold as Ice

Did I miss something here?

Is it National Make an Offensive Comment About People with Disabilities Month?

No? Well, damn, you fooled me.

Maybe it's me, but it sure seems as if the climate has gotten pretty chilly of late, and I don't mean in regards to the Artic temperatures and six feet of snow outside my door. I'm talking about the icy comments spewing from people's mouths about people with special needs.

I mean, seriously, I need an Excel spreadsheet or a scorecard to keep up. No sooner do I compose a blog post in my head about one of these politicians celebrities talking heads holier than thou assholes saying something stupid about people with disabilities, or casually tossing off the "r" word, or what have you, than the next one comes along, with an even more egregious comment or scenario.

In a matter of weeks, we've had the Rahm "fucking r-----ed" Emanuel fiasco, followed by Rush's whole schtick, the Family Guy episode, Sarah Palin getting her two cents in (and, I know this will come as a shocker, but I actually found myself agreeing with the woman on that one), and that wacky-minded professor espousing some sort of academic bullshit about why the r-word should not be banned.

Add to this State Delegate Bob Marshall of Manassas, Virginia who appears to have quite the extensive knowledge about reproduction, Mother Nature, and theology. That's quite the trifecta there, big shot bobby-boy. According to The News Leader, a paper serving Virginia's Central Shenandoah Valley, here's what this rocket scientist (maybe he's that, too) had to say last Thursday:

"The number of children who are born subsequent to a first abortion with handicaps has increased dramatically. Why? Because when you abort the first born of any, nature takes its vengeance on the subsequent children," said Marshall, a Republican (my note: wow there's a shocker) "In the Old Testament, the first born of every being, animal and man, was dedicated to the Lord. There's a special punishment Christians would suggest."

And what would that special punishment be, Theologian Bob? Because I'm willing to go out on a limb and venture a guess here and say that you, sir, don't know the first goddamn thing about the mental punishment one inflicts on oneself when your kid has a disability. You question EVERY. THING. You dissect every morsel of food you ever ate in your life and every sip of alcohol that ever passed your lips. You re-create with the precision of a forensic scientist every step you ever took and you second guess every dirty look. You get punished by yourself, by the friends who quietly disappear when getting together with you gets too depressing or sensory intensified, by your own kid who hits you.

You get punished day after day after fucking day from the likes of holier than thou know-it-alls like you. And we don't need you to punish us even more, State Delegate Marshall, because most days? We're doing just fine in that department all by ourselves, thanks.

I don't even want to comment on the abortion issue with this, because that's just ludicrous to insinuate that a previous abortion had any bearing whatever on a subsequent child being born with "handicaps." It defies logic to even speculate that an abortion could be the cause of a disability. Care to share where you got your medical degree from, Dr. Marshall?

Bottom line is I'm tired of the rhetoric surrounding all this, I really am. I'm tired of making the same points, of people asking me what I think about this one saying this and that one saying that. I'm tired of the trite apologies. I'm tired of fighting this battle on top of all the other battles I have to fight every day.

But there's a little boy at stake, who is being punished by people who don't even know him but are regarding him and so many others like him as second class citizens. He's my son, and he has autism, and he doesn't deserve for his life to be this hard nor - because of the likes of you - it to be any harder than it already is.

None of our kids deserve this.

So for their sake, can't we just all get along? Can't people who don't know what the hell they're talking about just agree to just shut the fuck up when you have nothing better to say than to espouse some insult about people with disabilities?

Can't we agree to end this Cold War against people with disabilities and tear down this wall of hatred for once and for all?

copyright 2010, Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy, The Betty and Boo Chronicles) If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.


Niksmom said...

Well said, my friend! Well, said.

Yogi♪♪♪ said...

I know that you are tired of making the same points over but like you said there are children at stake.

I had an acquaintance reecently post on my FB wall something along the lines of "Doesn't the latest research show that autism is caused by the parents leaving the infants in front of a television too long."


Here in OKlahoma legislators have testified that they have saw a cream advertised on TV that somehow cures autism.

Another invited parents who attended a hearing that if they didn't like Oklahoma's policies they could leave the state.

The cold war never ends.

Susan said...

I hear your frustration, Melissa. I've been in the special education field my whole career, and my mom and my kids either make dumb comments or use the "r" word too. Hopefully some day people will change. You are doing a fabulous job advocating for Boo and trying to make the way smoother for him. Great mommy!!

DemMom said...

Here's a question: where is Sarah Palin in the Bob Marshall mess? Why isn't she ripping him from limb to limb? Word is he's going to apologize on the floor of the House. No backpedaling, just an apology. Too little, too late.

Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) said...

DemMom - I'm no expert, but maybe Sarah's silence has to do with Bob being a Republican?