Friday, April 2, 2010

Perpetual Change

"Every spring is the only spring, a perpetual astonishment."
~ Ellis Peters

I was born on Holy Thursday. There aren't any dramatic stories surrounding my birth, just a simple one.

My mom recalls that the world was still in winter grayscale when she went into the hospital to have me, but when she came home several days later (back in the ancient days when moms stayed for nearly a week after childbirth), spring had definitely sprung.

It was, she says, like the world was completely changed. And in many ways, it was.

Today is Holy Thursday (my birthday is this weekend) and I was thinking about that, given the week I had.  It didn't start out too good, as you can probably surmise from my previous post.  The hospital visit with Boo, the crappy weather on top of a miserable winter, all of it were taking its toll. 

What I didn't write about on Tuesday was that I was in full procrastination mode.  I had an email flashing on my BlackBerry from a potential employer.  The interview was OK - not one of my best, not my worst - and I wasn't sure if this was a job I was interested in.  I had my reasons, but as I listened to myself, I was wondering if perhaps they weren't just flimsy excuses.  This field is too emotional, I said, ignoring the fact that this is very closely related to the field I currently work in. There are two other jobs that I'm a candidate for that sound better. I had a million reasons for not returning that call. 

The Husband convinced me otherwise.  "Just hear them out," he suggested.  "Listen to what they have to say." I reluctantly agreed to do so, emailing while pumping yet another $35 worth of gas into my car for my 150-mile round trip commute (I spend around $100 per week in gas) that I'd love to talk more, fully rehearsing my "thanks, but no thanks" courtesies.

By 9 a.m. on Wednesday morning, everything changed.  With one conversation, I began to see possibilities where there hadn't seemed to be too many.  I called The Husband, my end of the conversation sounding like a broken record of "but what if what if what if what if ...." 

What if I just said yes?

I'm one of those people who sometimes talks a nice game about embracing change, but has a tough time actually doing so.  Sometimes it takes a little convincing ... or a look around at the scenery, to see the small bud of possibility on the bare branch. Sometimes we get a little too comfortable, coast a little too long on autopilot, that we're blind to what is right in front of us. 

One of my mentors in college and in life once told me - and I have never forgotten this - that we make decisions based on what is right for us at the time.  Nothing terribly profound, but a reminder to be grounded in the moment, to go with what feels right, because in the end, that is all we have when caught up in the seasons of change.

photo taken by Betty during our recent trip to the zoo.

copyright 2010, Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy, The Betty and Boo Chronicles) If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.


JoAnn said...

Happy Birthday, Melissa! Hope you have a perfect celebration. My twins will turn 17 (how can that be??) on Monday.

My husband keeps a cartoon in his office that features Dilbert and the words "Change is good... you go first."

Florinda said...

Happy Birthday a little bit early! I was born on Easter Sunday. How funny that we're both Holy Week babies (different years, of course)!

Some of my most stressful moments have come from having a job offer in hand. "Wow, I really could make this change. I'm in control of it. Am I ready? Do I really want to?"

So, DID you say yes?

Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy) said...

Florinda ~ yes, I did! I think it will be a really good move.

JoAnn - did I know that your twins were born so close to my birthday (which is Saturday)? We probably had this very conversation last year. It's what happens as one (me) gets more into their 40s.

Thanks for the birthday wishes, girls!

Christina said...

Congratulations on your new job, Melissa!
The last two times I changed jobs, it went kind of like this-- not jobs I specifically picked, but I took a chance. The job I just left was the best I had in my 15 year career. My new one (since Jan), well hard to say. It's not easy, but the last one didn't start that way either. But I'm convinced growth doesn't happen with easy. I'm also fairly convinced that we get presented with the right opportunities if we're open to it....So good luck!

Dawn @ sheIsTooFondOfBooks said...

The Husbands can be good sounding boards, can't they. Mine likes to play 'devil's advocate' and toss every side of the situation for me.

Congratulations on seeing the possibilities, taking a chance, and saying YES!