Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Words Matter

Sometimes, here, with this blogging thing of ours, we write (with good intentions) about things that move us, that allow us to try and make sense of the senseless, to give some comfort.

Such was the case last November, when I wrote about a significant anniversary of a tragic event, a family's loss of their son, their brother.  I wondered, in my post, what he would have been like today, how his family is doing after all these years.

And since writing that post (which I'm being intentionally vague about), his name and the circumstances in which he died has become the most searched for term on my blog. 

I'm not sure why, either, because like the crime itself, there is no rhyme or reason.  It doesn't make sense. There aren't (thankfully, I guess) any comments on this particular post.

I'm not talking one search out of 100 here. I'm talking dozens.  As in, every other search term, it seems, is a violation of this boy's memory. Even though I am sure they never read it, every hit feels to me like a new wound to his family.

So the well-intentioned post is gone, deleted, and even though these sorts of things live on in the cyberspace and continue long into the hereafter, it makes me sleep a little better knowing that I'm not perhaps unintentionally causing more pain, perhaps spawning a copycat or two, or indulging a voyeuristic mindset. 

Our words. They really do matter, you know?

photo taken by me in my Mom's backyard, Easter Sunday 2010. 

copyright 2010, Melissa (Betty and Boo's Mommy, The Betty and Boo Chronicles) If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.


Niksmom said...

How awful for you and the boy's family. Like constantly picking at a scab. FWIW, I think you did the right thing in removing the post. I hope the family is well and the wounds heal again.

K A B L O O E Y said...

So does kindness. I'm sure the boy's family knows you didn't mean to cause them any pain. Hope removing the column is helpful. My best to these people and to you, the thoughtful blogger.