Thursday, July 28, 2011

Hello, Goodbye

Sunset outside our house ~ June 2011
(Seriously, who wouldn't want to buy a house
with sunsets like these thrown in for free?)

"Oh, the days dwindle down to a precious few ...."
September Song (K. Weill, M. Anderson)
sung by Frank Sinatra (and others)

Suddenly, there isn't enough time left.

Perhaps there never is.

There was so much I wanted to do in these last few weeks and days of us being here. 

One last trip down to the beach. To the creamery. To the little zoo.  To the gardens.

There were things I'd wanted to do for the first and last time: walk the labyrinth behind the art museum. Walk in the art museum. 

And then there's the people. 

There are people I'd hoped to see one more time. 

You know who you are.

There are people I wish I'd had the chance to say hello and goodbye to at the same time. 

You know who you are, too. 

(Because this ability to become friends with someone a few towns away - but never meet in person - is one of the more bizarre things about this social-networked age in which we live.  And if you recognize yourself in that statement? Yeah, I'm probably talking about you.)

And don't get me started on the kids' goodbyes with their friends. I've botched that so incredibly badly that it will undoubtedly cost me thousands in therapy down the road. 

I could blame a bunch of things, such as my tendency to procrastinate, which has me down to the wire in regards to the packing.  Or the insomnia.

Or I could blame my dental emergency of earlier this week, when I was in agony with a toothache so horrendous that I was deliriously Googling "home remedies for an abcessed tooth."  (Tried the warm teabag, the ginger and lemon, the ice packs.  Stopped short of immediately acquiring an on-the-spot D.D.S. degree by boiling a needle to perform self dentistry, despite the detailed step-by-step instructions helpfully provided by a supposed "dentist."  Decided to throw myself on the mercy of the real dentist I owe $2,000 to, who kindly wrote a heavy-duty prescription that made me comfortably numb ... and able to talk again.)

(It wasn't an abcess.  It is an already broken tooth that is slated for removal that has an inflammed nerve pressing up on my sinuses. Yeah, good times.)

Or I could blame the fact that this has been a really tough summer, behaviorally speaking. Boo's. Betty's. Mine. We've been struggling, all four of us.  This long-distance arrangement has taken its toll in many ways ... which makes this move the right one, and this decision to leave now the best one we can make.  The sooner we can become a family again, come what may, the better.

The truth is all of that, along with this:  I'm not really good at goodbyes, with endings.  Given the choice and an escape route, I'll avoid them every time. 

So, I'm sorry - truly sorry - to those friends who we didn't get a chance to see or who may feel slighted. I really am. 

Just know that right now, with so little time left, it's the only way.

We said goodbye to a dear old friend
And we packed our bags and left feeling sad
It's the only way
We said hello as we turned the key
A new roof over our heads
Gave a smile
It's the only way
Only way

Turn your head
And don't look back
Set your sails for a new horizon
Don't turn around, don't look down
Oh there's life across the tracks
And you know it's really not surprising
It gets better when you get there ....
Well it really don't matter much where you are
'Cause home is in your heart ....

"We Said Hello, Goodbye" ~ Phil Collins

copyright 2011, Melissa, The Betty and Boo Chronicles If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.


Book Dragon said...

I saw the "Goodbye" and panicked. Then remembered that you were moving.

I've been in this house for 19 years and all my stuff has multiplied. My kids are adults now so I wouldn't even have to worry about that. I look around, see a small glimpse of your pain and sigh for you, wishing I could come help you pack. I could do the books ;-)

Alison said...

Whew, moving is big. I'll say to you what I said to one of my best friends last night (she, too, is in the midst of a move): I think you're allowed to let yourself off the hook. You're doing the best you can, and that's good enough.

Anonymous said...

The heart of it is in this sentence: "The sooner we can become a family again, come what may, the better." that's all that really matters. Family first. And, um, yeah, that whole living a couple towns over...bites every time. But when we deal with autism, we understand how it goes sometimes. *shrug* FWIW, I hate goodbyes, too. But I'll miss the hell out of you. Xo

Kelly said...

Exactly what Beth first. I'm sad we didn't get to meet, but completely understand and wish you well! New opportunities, new adventures and you'll be doing it together...just as it should be.

Elisabeth said...

I hope your move goes smoothly! I will be thinking about ya.

K A B L O O E Y said...

That's an awful lot to have on your plate; just get whole and happy again. And when is school starting?