Wednesday, February 15, 2012

Boo's Homework: My 4th Grade Litigator

You may recall that last week I shared with you a sample of Boo's homework, in which he had to write a fictitious, persuasive letter to a business asking for a refund or reporting some defect in a product. 

For the purpose of granting his mother some additional blog fodder expanding his platform as a budding author, Boo has granted permission for me to share with you another one of his letters that was also part of this lesson. 

(I don't normally do this, but I've also shared with Boo that I don't agree with the 12/20 grade - I mean, what the fuck is that, a fucking D? - that he got on this assignment. Yeah, there's some typos and formatting issues, but you know what? I've seen worse in the business world from people who are much older than 10. I'm just sayin'.) 

I've included the copy below the photo (which you can click to embiggen) because it's hard to read with his teacher's chicken scratch throughout.  And, most importantly, so a real lawyer doesn't come after my ass, Boo emphasizes that all names and addresses are completely fictitious, a product of his own imagination, and not made to resemble any real persons, living or dead, or maimed by ball pits in any way, shape or form. 

Dear Mr. Timmy Rodriguez,

I remember last week on Thursday, November 13, 2008 when I brought my two kids, Wendy Wagner and Charles Wagner, a ball pit.

Well, yesterday my kids were playing in the ball pit like lions and Charlie tried diving in the ball pit but broke his right leg. He is in the Marshall hispitol with my wife Jane. Please grant me my money back and pay for Charles' hospital bill.  [My note: This is circled from the teacher with a note saying: "You can't ask for this, Boo." Um ... really? I'm no lawyer, but isn't that what they call a pre-trial settlement?]

Thanks! Meet me on Nov. 27 to discuss the date you'll pay me and The Wagner Family $2201.35.

Aren't you dying to know what the P.S. would have been? I know I am.

And doesn't $2201.35 for a hospital visit for a broken leg sound like quite the bargain?

copyright 2011, Melissa, The Betty and Boo Chronicles If you are reading this on a blog or website other than The Betty and Boo Chronicles or via a feedreader, this content has been stolen and used without permission.

1 comment:

Jenny said...

For some reason the 35 cents on the end is what makes it awesome to me. Plus the fact they were playing like lions!