Wednesday, November 14, 2012

What Was That Line About Any Club That Would Have Me as a Member? Sign Me Up. Now.

Oh, my. The things I am finding out about my high school now - and I have Jill Kelley to thank.

(Ms. Kelley, as the world has come to learn, is one of the women reportedly involved in the General Petraeus scandal. You may have heard something about it.)

As I wrote in my previous post "Fast Times at CIA High," I happen to share a high school alma mater with Ms. Kelley. But even though 8 years separate our paths along the same hallowed halls, we apparently had very different experiences. According to the UK's Daily Mail (about as far from our high school as one can get), Kelley was a student member of "a club that introduced her to the world's most influential men."

Stop right there. I need to know right now.


You mean to tell me that 25 years later, I'm JUST FINDING OUT NOW that MY HIGH SCHOOL had a club that could have INTRODUCED ME TO THE WORLD'S MOST INFLUENTIAL MEN??!!!

You know how much teenage angst and tears and listening to bad '80s music that could have saved me?!?!

According to the Daily Mail article: "[Kelley] was a student member of the World Affairs Council and would have been given the opportunity to meet dignitaries at the highest level including presidents, prime ministers and princes."

PRESIDENTS, PRIME MINISTERS, AND PRINCES??  What, like hangin' in the cafeteria? Passing notes in class? Slow dancing to Alphaville's "Forever Young" at the prom?

You have got to be shitting me.

This is what I need to know. High school peeps who were in the World Affairs Council, names and numbers of all the world's influential men you met.

And then I need a certain DeLorean so I can go back to my future and get a mulligan for my life.

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1 comment:

Lisa Gradess Weinstein said...

That is too funny. If your high school was anything like mine, the most influential man you might have met might have been the mayor or the local police chief or something like that. Just where does the Daily Mail think she went to school??